I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
