Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Randomize