and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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