it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
