Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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