you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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