I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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