Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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