so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
