Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
