Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
