Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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