my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
