we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
