So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
