I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
