She announced her abortion via fbk
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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