Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
