i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
