It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize