I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
