I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
