Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
