...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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