i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
