I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize