what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
