we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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