I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
