Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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