Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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