yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
that may or may not have been my penis.
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