how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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