He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's Friday. Sex?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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