Slut skills are useful in every country.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
