I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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