this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
