bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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