Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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