I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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