I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
