Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
