so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize