Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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