i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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