Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
