If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
