Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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