Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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