we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize