Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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