I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
