She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
