Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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