Where did you get a picture of my penis
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
