Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
