There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
