i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
