she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
