Got a toothbrush?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
