how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
