I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
