East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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