i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
