Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
