Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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