everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
