my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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