I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
