I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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