Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
