perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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