i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
